I don't ever want to be that bitching and complaining person that we all know and don't love. I try, to the best of my ability, to be positive and to enjoy all that life presents me. Operative word...I try. I don't always accomplish this but overall I think I do a pretty good job.
Well, this post isn't going to be all roses and sunshine. For the first time since I moved to Taiwan almost 10 months ago, I want to go home (meaning the states). Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it here. The traffic and the heat & humidity, not so much, but everything else is incredible. I love the culture, food, people and my job here. But in the past few days I've gotten to the point of wanting to go home. Why? It's this damned broken collarbone. That's why!
Almost 8 weeks in and this damned thing is still incredibly painful and it is affecting absolutely everything in my life. Sleep, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, walking, getting groceries, pulling my pants up, cooking...everything is impacted and I cry UNCLE!!!
I truly am trying to keep a positive attitude and a "suck it up and deal" frame of mind but I admit, it's getting to me. Yesterday I needed to get groceries and things like toilet paper, detergent, etc. Normally, in the states, I'd make one trip, bring things to my car, drive it home and make a few trips to carry things into my house. Oh no! Not here. I am a walking fool so I made 4 trips to the market to get what I needed. 4!!! Why, because I can only carry things with one arm and if it's too heavy it makes my shoulder and collarbone feel like it's being stabbed. I even made a trip, by cab, to a bigger supermarket to buy a new iron and a few things for my kitchen. Now it would normally be great to take a cab to this amazing store, get absolutely everything I need and take a cab home. But nooooooo! I can't do that either. Sure, I can take a cab there and back (even though it just pisses me off to have to pay for a taxi when I could normally just ride my bike there) but the problem is I can't carry everything I need to the cab and from the cab to the apartment. So I spent 4 1/2 hours of my day going back and forth to the market instead. IT SUCKS!
I know, complain complain! You can stop reading if you want. I understand.
On Monday I saw both my "regular" doctor and my Chinese medicine doctor (acupuncture). The first one told me I have to wear the damned sling for another 4 to 6 weeks and can lift my arm no higher than 60 degrees and to slowly work up to 90. Absolutely NO LIFTING MY ARM UP ABOVE THAT! The bone is healing but not quite healed yet and, yes, I know, it's close to the freakin' joint and it complicates things. Blah, blah, blah. Also, my messed up body has made the healing a bit more challenging. I totally cried in front of him and I don't think he knew what to do. Four to six more weeks! Are you kidding me! That will bring me to over 3 months in the damned sling. Then my acupuncture guy (who's adorable by the way) told me I need to be patient and "No pain no gain". The guy speaks passable English but this is what he know how to say!? Really?!
Anyway, I walked home and on my way I bought a really good bottle of bourbon, some vermouth and bitters and made myself a very cold, very tasty Manhattan (the first since I got to Taiwan). I had a good cry and pity party and let myself wallow it all of it. Then I gave myself a good talking to - "Get over it!"
Yes this sucks but I do know it will get better and the acupuncture is actually helping, thank god! I have less than 5 weeks left in Taiwan and I'm flying home to spend time with my daughters and besties. I can let go and let myself be taken care of and pampered for a few weeks before I return. I love you Taiwan but it's time to go home. I need some TLC!
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